Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Medley of Absurd Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece of unpredictable events. The following side quests illustrate the game's uniquely absurd charm, without spoiling the main storyline.

Table of Contents

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

In Želejov, two indolent troubadours dream of Bohemian musical stardom, lacking funds, instruments, and direction. Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a series of increasingly ridiculous tasks to aid them. This involves lute theft (risking arrest), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for the debt-averse duo. Their final "epic" song? A dull ballad glorifying Henry's mundane errands – a truly unforgettable reward!

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Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

The troubadours' strings require crafting by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who's found injured after a wolf encounter. While the intended outcome involves rescuing him, tending his horse, and helping him sober up, an alternative path exists. I chose to deliver the inebriated hunter directly to the tavern. His reaction? Unprintable. Our subsequent meeting was equally memorable, with a less-than-enthusiastic view of his shack offered as compensation.

Image: ensigame.com

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's tragedy, are encountered in a tavern. Instead of a violent confrontation, a bizarre turn of events unfolds. I found myself matchmaking, drinking, and singing with them. The climax? A philosophical discussion with a talking dog, culminating in a reckless (and hilarious) lake-swimming dare.

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Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

A successful burglary spree ended abruptly with a botched heist. My escape was witnessed, leading to a tense confrontation with the guards. While I talked my way out, my flashy accessories and lingering stench betrayed me – a testament to the game's detailed realism.

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Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

Stealing a horse and attempting to sell it to the gypsy horse trader, Mikolaj, resulted in an unexpected delay. Mikolaj's leisurely morning routine – porridge, spoon-licking, and belly-scratching – stretched the sale into an agonizingly funny experience.

Image: ensigame.com

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

These are just glimpses into the game's unique charm. Every action, however insignificant, creates unexpected consequences. The immersive realism and attention to detail make each playthrough a unique and hilarious adventure, a must-play for open-world RPG enthusiasts.

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Bohemia awaits!